Truthful Thursdays: My style is just that - Mine!

Alas, Truthful Thursdays have returned! My hubby thought that my last segment (expressing my opinions on natural hair) came off a tad ‘strong’. Since then I’ve shied away from speaking my peace. Until now…
I’m a private person by nature (who just so happens to blog) and I often struggle with how much of the authentic “me” I’d like to reveal for public scrutiny. As I’ve mentioned before, one of the reasons that I started blogging was because I personally didn’t feel that there were enough style/fashion images of women who looked like me (those whom I could readily identify with) when seeking style inspiration on various social media platforms. In my opinion, the present up and coming generation of women need to see images of regular/ordinary women, yes of my color, yes of my size, and yes of my taste/style. Today’s society promotes an unattainable idea, one of physical perfection- an ideal that every woman should seek to “attain”. This notion is utterly ridiculous in my opinion; I promote body positivity and have made the personal choice to love every inch of my physically imperfect plus-sized body. Ah, I digressed…

Moving on to today’s topic: This week I was featured on FashionBombDaily.com as Bombshell of the Day! I was extremely excited to be featured!!! Yet, along with any recognition also comes additional exposure to negativity and unsolicited/backhanded suggestions allegedly given in a complimentary manner.

I am so appreciative for the many positive comments received and I sincerely thank those contributors!

However, I want to take a few minutes to address several comments that appeared derogatory and purposed to shame me by making references to one of my all time favorite movies, The Color Purple.

First off, the movies The Color Purple and The Help (also referenced) represent a part of my cultural history and heritage. I am an African American woman. I am not ashamed to be told that some of my style choices bring those movies to someone’s mind. If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that vintage pieces truly resonate with me, and that some of my pieces could very well be from the same eras that both aforementioned films represent.

Secondly, there were a few comments about my selection of shoe choices in the looks that were featured in the write-up, over at FashionBombDaily.com. Not that it’s anyone’s business, but I actually suffered from a broken toe not too long ago (which is still sensitive BTW) and my shoe choices were based not only on what matched what I was wearing, but also on which would provide comfort and stability for my broken toe. In any event, I wear the types of shoes that I want to wear, and that are practical for my lifestyle. 

For the record: “My style is just that- Mine!” I wear and style items in the manner that I personally choose, not according to the preference and or satisfaction of “the public” or even others who may be in the blogging community. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am more than happy to inspire women in any way that I possibly can. Yet, I recognize that some women may not be “inspired”, or may not appreciate every single one of my style choices. The thing is, despite possessing strong opinions, when I’m not particularly fond of someone’s style choices, I never see or feel a need nor desire to publicly share specious feedback on social media about how they should change a look to suit MY personal preferences.  I guess I truly am an old soul, I was raised with the concept: If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all =)

I do not value unsolicited negative feedback, and I tend to doubt the sincerity of anyone who makes the conscious decision to publicly present suggestions on how I could and or should re-style a look according to their personal preference. I often benefit from constructive criticism, however I do not allow room for insincere feedback laced with negativity.

Basically, just like anyone else,  I wear what I WANT to wear. I am not in the market for field suggestions on how I can change my personal style to suit anyone else’s preference(s). 

Thanks for stopping by today Beauties! Please do share: 
How do you feel when someone offers negative feedback on how and why you should change an outfit that you’ve styled?

Until next time!
XO

What "CURVY" Means to Us

In recent years, there has been much discussion surrounding the use of the word “CURVY”, especially when it comes to plus size women. I have read numerous articles on the controversial subject, some degrading and offensive, and others amusing and somewhat intriguing.  

For instance, recently I came across an article in my hometown newspaper, The Detroit Free Press. It is titled: “Does 'curvy' label do large women a favor?” The author outlines some of the advancements that have been made in the fashion industry to include plus size women. She says: “It would be tempting to say we, as a society, have evolved. It would be tempting to say we’re no longer bound by prejudices about body size. It would be tempting to say we’re finally seeing and believing that women with large bodies are worthy of our respect.” I found her sentiments intriguing. In my opinion, the society that I live in is still very much bound by prejudices toward body size. The author goes on to say: “Society still loathes large women, it just doesn’t call women large any more. These days, large women are “curvy.” Even if they have no definable waist or hips, the very definition of curvy.”




Aha! Herein lies the basis of today’s post: 
What is the definition of “CURVY”? Can it be subjective or objective? 

I asked fellow #psbloggers from one end of the globe to the other to weigh in with me on the following questions:

How do you define the word curvy?
In the past, when I thought of a curvy woman, I pictured someone who had a smaller, defined waist, and shapely hips. I never believed that being curvy had anything to do with the size of a woman. For example: a woman that wears a size 4 can have curves, just as a woman who wears a size 14 can have curves. A woman who wears a size 6 might not have curves, just as a woman who wears a size 16 might not be the representation of curvy.

Do you consider yourself to be curvy?
Why yes, I certainly do!

Has your perception of the word curvy changed since joining the online plus size community?
My perception of the use of the word curvy has changed. I’ve come to realize that curves take on all forms, and shapes. It is not up to me to tell another woman whether she is or is not curvy. If a woman chooses to describe her body as curvy, it is not my taste to challenge the validity of what she asserts. At the end of the day, every woman is beautiful in a unique way.

How do you feel about the public’s perception of the word curvy, and its use in the plus size community?
I do not feel that being plus size is automatically synonymous with having curves, or being curvy. However, I don’t believe that the public should attack plus size women for using the word curvy to describe their bodies. At the heart of it all, most plus size women do not want their bodies to be described in terms that have a history of being offensive, degrading, and hateful. The descriptive word "CURVY" has a different connotation, one that generally engenders positive thoughts. The word CURVY does and will always have a place among plus size women!

The article that I referenced earlier asserts: “What makes most sense is to stop putting women into categories.” Well, that would be nice, but in my opinion, categories do serve a purpose. For instance, when searching for fashion inspiration on Pinterest/Instagram, without categories, how would we specify the images that we’d like to see? Just a thought…

Check out what “CURVY” means to my fellow #psbloggers:

Ashley @ www.fabellis.com
Delilah @ www.pumpsandstudz.blogspot.com
JoJo @ www.icurvyworld.com
Lauren @ www.thecurvyperfectionist.com
Nina @ www.curvymod.blogspot.com
Olivia @ www.curvesbecomeher.wordpress.com


Until next time lovelies!
Xx

LEB Workshop Assignment 5: Stomach/Waist

Hey there!

I’m getting back on track with the LEB (Love Every Body) Workshop :) This month's (April) assignment #5 is up: Stomach/Waist (previous assignment also posted here). How do I feel about my stomach/waist?

(Original photos posted here)

Well in short, we have an on and off again relationship *o* Sometimes I love it, and other times not so much. My stomach is one of the smallest measurements on my body. I like my waist to hip ratio. I have excess skin (IMO) around my stomach from weight fluctuations. Depending on the fit of my clothing, I can look quite pregnant or like I have an extremely flat tummy. My stomach has stretch marks. I have a pooch. It only seems to go away when I am on my best behavior, which apparently, is not often enough. LOL! Can you tell that I am full of laughs today?! Seriously though, my stomach is not drastically different than it was in years past. I’ve had a pooch all of my adult life. 

Overall I appreciate my tummy. I’m thankful that I don't go to bed without enough food to eat, that I don't have a painful disease (cancer comes to mind) tearing away at my insides, and that my tummy can kinda be molded into whatever I want it to be. I’ve never had an operation on it, and it bears no scars or permanent marks with the exception of a small birthmark. I have much to be grateful for.

How do you feel about your tummy?

Check out my blogmates linkups here.
Xx

LEB Workshop Assignment 1: A Letter to My Body

As previously mentioned here, I joined a fantastic body positivity workshop hosted by Leah over at JustMeLeah.co.uk. I missed the first two segments because I found out about it after it had already begun. I decided to make up the prior segments because I think they are essential to the process.

I thought that it would be fairly simple to write this piece, but actually it wasn’t. It was emotional. Each time I gave it serious and deep thought, and then began to write, I would feel sadness. I thought to myself, ‘Where is this sadness coming from?’ I think I know the answer. It was the realization of how I truly feel.  I feel that when I was growing up, I was ill-equipped to appreciate and understand my personal self-worth. I decided to write a letter to my body in the past, from the future.

Dear body,

I write this letter to you from the future.  Whenever you need to, pull me out, and read me. Always believe that you are beautiful, that you have value, and that you are a gift.

You will be viewed as physically unattractive by some people because you don’t fall into a certain weight range, because your hips are wider, because your legs are bigger, and even because you are covered in brown skin. 

Despite how you are viewed by others, you will learn to value yourself. Everything about you is unique, beautiful, and wonderfully designed. You will discover that everyone was not created to be the exact same size, to look the exact same way, or to have the exact same body shape. Endeavor to embrace the things about you that are different. From the top of your head to the bottom of your feet, each facet of you is a gift. Treasure the gift that is uniquely you. 

Let me tell you about you. You have full, thick, curly and wavy hair. Your skin is a beautiful hue of brown, and in the summer seasons it develops a glow. You have five fingers and five toes. You are shaped similar to a dewdrop, wider on the bottom than you are on the top. You have relatively good health as a child, and during your adult years. Your heart has no irregularities, and all of your organs work harmoniously together. You enjoy 20/20 vision, relatively good hearing, and almost perfect taste buds.  You bruise easily, but your bruises heal and eventually fade. Your arms and legs work just fine, and for 30+ years you will not suffer from any disabilities. 

Body, recognize that you are but a shell, or a vessel for the true person that resides within. Genuine beauty comes from that source, and radiates outwardly. Whenever you feel shunned, degraded, and even rejected by others because of your appearance, remind yourself: 

You are beautiful, you have value, and you are a gift.

Love,

Me 

This was a clarifying exercise for me, and I am happy that I decided to complete it. 

Check out Leah's post and the other lovlies that participated here.

LEB Workshop Assignment 3: Arms, Hands, and Shoulders

So a couple of weeks ago, while perusing BeauCoo, I came across a great workshop hosted by Leah over at JustMeLeah.co.uk.

The main idea of this workshop is to learn to look at our bodies in a new way, banishing negative ideas from our minds and choosing to focus on the great things about ourselves. 

I have long believed that too much time and energy is spent hating the gift that is our body. I began practicing what I like to think of as 'body love' about 12 years ago. I started by examining my body in it's entirety, frequently. I invested in great bath and body products, and regularly gave myself full body salt and sugar scrubs. I stopped wincing when I looked at myself naked in the mirror, and began smiling. Yes, despite stretch marks, bruises, cellulite, spider veins, and jiggles ;) - I realized that this is the only body that I have. There in began the journey of loving the skin that I am in. Like any journey, there have been ups and downs.

This workshop is sectioned off into 9 separate assignments. The first Sunday of each month a different body part is featured. Unfortunately I missed assignments one and two, which were featured December 1st and January 5th. However, I plan to run catch up posts ;)

The focal points for today's assignment is: arms, hands, and shoulders. It's quite fitting too, because as of late, my arms are probably my least favorite body part! LOL! However, assignment #3 encourages me to shift my focus. What do I love about my arms? What do they enable me to do? What about my shoulders and my hands? 
After some reflection, I came up with this list of random thoughts:

ARMS

• My arms enable me to embrace those I love.
• I like the skin color of my arms.
• I have one small scar on my right arm, and two on my left. Both were caused by a hot curling iron.
• I enjoy a good stretch.
• I like the fine hair on my forearms, and would never consider removing it.
• I am grateful for my arms.

HANDS

• I used to dislike my hands, I'm not sure why.
• I like the shape of my nails, and the way that they grow.
• I like to wear blue nail polish, every chance I get.
• I've had healthy nails my entire life, until recently. I slammed my thumb into a car door, and now the nail is in the process of coming off. Also, the nerves in my thumb are still healing so I experience pain when using it extensively.
• I have fine hair just under my knuckles. I like it. I like hair on my body! 
• My fingers are relatively small.
• My hands enable me to enjoy life through touch. 
• With my hands, I can: do my hair, my make-up (when I wear it), brush my teeth, wash up, get dressed, cook, clean, drive, clap, type, swipe, rub Patch (my kitty), touch my husband's face, and the list could go on forever! 
• I am grateful that I have hands!

SHOULDERS

• I've always loved the shape of my shoulders, and for that reason it's hard for me to stay out of tube tops in the summer ;)
• Sometimes I like a shoulder massage.
• I like to roll my shoulders back.
• I like the way fabric hangs off my shoulders.
• I am grateful for my shoulders!

Thinking about this assignment helped me to remember that I am grateful that I have arms, hands and shoulders. Some people don't, and they would give anything to have them. Yes, my hands, arms, and shoulders are part of me, and I love them.

XO