Thursday, August 14, 2014

Truthful Thursdays: My style is just that - Mine!

Alas, Truthful Thursdays have returned! My hubby thought that my last segment (expressing my opinions on natural hair) came off a tad ‘strong’. Since then I’ve shied away from speaking my peace. Until now…
I’m a private person by nature (who just so happens to blog) and I often struggle with how much of the authentic “me” I’d like to reveal for public scrutiny. As I’ve mentioned before, one of the reasons that I started blogging was because I personally didn’t feel that there were enough style/fashion images of women who looked like me (those whom I could readily identify with) when seeking style inspiration on various social media platforms. In my opinion, the present up and coming generation of women need to see images of regular/ordinary women, yes of my color, yes of my size, and yes of my taste/style. Today’s society promotes an unattainable idea, one of physical perfection- an ideal that every woman should seek to “attain”. This notion is utterly ridiculous in my opinion; I promote body positivity and have made the personal choice to love every inch of my physically imperfect plus-sized body. Ah, I digressed…

Moving on to today’s topic: This week I was featured on FashionBombDaily.com as Bombshell of the Day! I was extremely excited to be featured!!! Yet, along with any recognition also comes additional exposure to negativity and unsolicited/backhanded suggestions allegedly given in a complimentary manner.

I am so appreciative for the many positive comments received and I sincerely thank those contributors!

However, I want to take a few minutes to address several comments that appeared derogatory and purposed to shame me by making references to one of my all time favorite movies, The Color Purple.
First off, the movies The Color Purple and The Help (also referenced) represent a part of my cultural history and heritage. I am an African American woman. I am not ashamed to be told that some of my style choices bring those movies to someone’s mind. If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that vintage pieces truly resonate with me, and that some of my pieces could very well be from the same eras that both aforementioned films represent.

Secondly, there were a few comments about my selection of shoe choices in the looks that were featured in the write-up, over at FashionBombDaily.com. Not that it’s anyone’s business, but I actually suffered from a broken toe not too long ago (which is still sensitive BTW) and my shoe choices were based not only on what matched what I was wearing, but also on which would provide comfort and stability for my broken toe. In any event, I wear the types of shoes that I want to wear, and that are practical for my lifestyle. 

For the record: “My style is just that- Mine!” I wear and style items in the manner that I personally choose, not according to the preference and or satisfaction of “the public” or even others who may be in the blogging community. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am more than happy to inspire women in any way that I possibly can. Yet, I recognize that some women may not be “inspired”, or may not appreciate every single one of my style choices. The thing is, despite possessing strong opinions, when I’m not particularly fond of someone’s style choices, I never see or feel a need nor desire to publicly share specious feedback on social media about how they should change a look to suit MY personal preferences.  I guess I truly am an old soul, I was raised with the concept: If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all =)

I do not value unsolicited negative feedback, and I tend to doubt the sincerity of anyone who makes the conscious decision to publicly present suggestions on how I could and or should re-style a look according to their personal preference. I often benefit from constructive criticism, however I do not allow room for insincere feedback laced with negativity.

Basically, just like anyone else,  I wear what I WANT to wear. I am not in the market for field suggestions on how I can change my personal style to suit anyone else’s preference(s). 

Thanks for stopping by today Beauties! Please do share: 
How do you feel when someone offers negative feedback on how and why you should change an outfit that you’ve styled?

Until next time!
XO

14 comments:

  1. Sometimes I feel like Simon Cowell on American Idol when I follow fashion blogs. When is it ok to offer helpful suggestions to help the blogger take their brand/style to a new level or just keep my thoughts to myself and move on to the next blog. You don't have to defend yourself to anyone Joi. Criticism is hurtful. However, your unique style stands out and the editor noticed you, that's all you need. You didn't start this blog to put yourself on the chopping block or to compete with others bloggers. You said 'the present up and coming generation of women need to see images of regular/ordinary women' and this blog would reflect 'body positivity'. I think you are doing that. I see room for improvement on 99% of every blog I read. I'm not an expert, just one of millions who has an opinion. I don't read blogs to tell others what to wear, how to pose, accessorize, and take better photos. I read blogs for fashion ideas and to support 'regular ordinary women' who are owning their space in the real world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I laughed and nodded as I read your comments Robin =) Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I can imagine as a reader sometimes you want to offer a helpful suggestion that perhaps the writer/blogger didn't consider. Once I read a comment a reader left about one of my pictures on Pinterest, and I commented back to her that I agreed, I could have went with a different choice of a handbag. The biggest room in the house is truly room for improvement; My issue is not with the readers who offer opinions (some good and some bad), but rather that a peer, someone in the same community as I, would take negative opinions and broadcast them publicly. I wrote today's post in effect to clear the air, not to defend my choices, because I agree with you 100%-I don't have to defend myself to anyone. I'm no expert, just another woman trying to make it, in a real world that doesn't accept people of my color or women of my size. Thank you so very much for your support!!! Xx

      Delete
  2. For the record. . .I love your style because it is Unique to You and that is why your blog is my everyday read! We are all different in many ways but designed by one God who sees the beauty in us all. When I read negative feedback I always try to consider the source - "someone with issues" and I just laugh it off. No one can tell you how to dress and no one can tell how to feel, so consider this when next you meet upon an asshole with issues. You just continue being "In Your Joi" and all is well on our side of the world. Thanks for this post and Enjoy your Life!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neti I must say I genuinely appreciate all of the support you have given me since Day 1, THANK YOU!!! I echo your sentiments, and look for the beauty in everyone that I meet. I'm determined to remain Joi-ful! LOL! Have a fantastic weekend!!
      XO

      Delete
  3. Like you said if you have nothing nice to say, just move on. I never understand why people really waist energy writing negative comments. You have a unique sense of style and never stop dressing for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sigh, I agree Assa, it's a very simple concept. Thank you for your support!
      XO

      Delete
  4. I like bombshell daily, but the commentators can be unnecessarily mean sometimes. We all can't dress the same and neither can our taste in fashion be the same. Even if you hate or dislike what someone has on, there's a way to go about it, but ofcos some people don't know that. Joi, your style is you and that's all that matters! Pay no mind to at all. Stay bless!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Missy! I've read brutal commentary on Bombshell Daily, and I often feel empathy for the one being attacked. Embracing the unique characteristics of each one of us is what makes fashion fun, enjoyable! Thank you for your support!
      XO

      Delete
  5. First, congrats for making it on the pages of FBD! To answer your question, I would have to agree with Ciaa, If you haven't anything nice to say, then keep it moving. I don't personally agree with every look that I see on blogs that I come across and I am sure that some people may feel the same way about my style but if we all dressed to please others then it wouldn't be authentic to YOU and your style. Lastly,you are the most authentic person I never met (seeing that we mostly communicate through cyber space.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks D!! I was shocked, and excited! I don't think anyone agrees with every aspect of something that someone else is wearing, whether it be their hairstyle, accessories, or even figure. Nonetheless, I comment on what I do like, and move on! If I don't like anything at all that is offered, I keep it to myself and I move on =) Thank you D, but don't forget our phone chats, LOL! We must meet in person! LOL!
      XO

      Delete
  6. I couldn't agree with you more. Well said and congrats on being bold enough to speak your truth. U are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lisa!!! I love your style and appreciate your support!!
      XO

      Delete
  7. I love how thought provoking this post is! I agree with you on personal style... praise is always great, but you have to do what's right for you in all areas of your life, not just style!

    Keep up the great work Joi! I'll be stalking your blog forevermore. :)


    -Lydia


    www.iamthefashionmentor.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lydia!! I truly appreciate compliments, but at the same time, I don't 'do what I do' to receive approval ;) Self-contentment has more value than the acceptance of others ;)

      Delete