Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Mixed Feelings

I’ve recently had one too many conversations with peers who for one or more reasons loathe their own bodies. I actually cringed to listen to a number of things that they said about themselves, as most comments were (not surprisingly) in reference to having gained unwanted weight and how their lives had drastically changed...or so they felt. Their comments gave me cause for pause, because in case they hadn’t noticed, I am a full figured woman! Hello! If they hated the way that they looked, were they not in affect saying that they hated the way that I looked?! And why did they choose to take up those conversations of such subject matter with me?

Yes, those conversations gave me cause for pause, and I have since taken some time to reflect on how different my personal feelings on the matter are. If by chance it isn’t clear, “I am a full figured woman”. I have always been a full figured woman. Give or take a few pounds, I have remained in sizes 12-16 (depending on the cut of an item) for almost 20 years. I’ve previously written about the years of my life that I wasted feeling ashamed of my curves, my body type, and yes my size. I like many women fed into the propaganda that ‘If only I was smaller’ my life would somehow improve by leaps and bounds…

The truth then is exactly the same truth today: Happiness is a choice! Now is the time to love myself, to love my body, to be happy, and to live with gratitude. Of course, I understand the desire to lose a few unwanted pounds, especially when it seems that they have crept up on you! I cannot however, sympathize with hateful speech towards your own body, which in turn teaches young girls, young women, and even influences other adult women that their personal self-worth should be heavily tied to their personal appearance- and even more so- the opinions of others.

If there is only one thing that I could gift every single woman that I come across, it would be constant awareness of everything about 'her' that is truly wonderful. In the interim, I stand in my own truth, embracing this body that I have been given, and styling it to the nine on every possible opportunity : ) Yes I am plus size and I feel fabulous!!! 

Until next time,
XO

Hat: BCBG| Sunnies: Nordstrom| Top: Here| Shorts: Forever 21 Plus| Suede sandals: Via Spiga| Purse: Vintage

34 comments:

  1. Yaaaas for those curves, girl!! I love the fact that you are fiercely rocking confidence in every style story you post. Those legs are on fleek...lol. Are they still saying that these days? You look like a goddess that's been bathed in cocoa butter and kissed by the sun...lol. Thanks for sharing and inspiring me to live in my own truth as well :)

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    1. Girl yesssss, outside of the ps community people/women are still dragging on their bodies and low key trying to shade you on yours!!! I am so loving your analogy of being bathed in cocoa butter and kissed by the sun!!!! That sums up what I see when I look at melanin and why I am so in love with the variety of browns serving it up! Living my truth is a journey with ups and downs, I am so thankful for the good days:) XO

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  2. "Happiness is a choice". Ain't that the truth.

    I'm a sucker for mixed prints/pattern mixing/pattern play, so you KNOW I already like your mix of an outfit. And I love it even more with the long black jacket.

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  3. Great outfit!! And great sentiment, too. You look super sharp in this!

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  4. I was one of those women myself, Joi, I cannot lie. I was constantly describing myself in disparaging, cruel, very mean ways until one day in January when Eve's therapist called me in and said that my daughter questioned the need to think positively, that she could do/be anything, when her own mother spoke so badly of herself. That hit me like nothing else could. Since then, I've tried very hard to curb my tongue and to think of myself in a positive light. If there is something I do not like about myself, rather than being verbally abusive (to myself), I set about taking action (be that in terms of eating healthier or working out more, or accepting myself for who I am). Hopefully, one day, I can erase the negativity and downstream consequences I unintentionally but inevitably caused on my 17 year old. Thank you for sharing this, and yes, happiness is indeed a conscious choice. And one that I've opted for these days, that and self-love xoxo

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    1. I love how candid you are Sheela- it is so refreshing!!! Self-love is most definitely a journey, and it comes with ups and down-highs and lows. My 20s were full of disparaging lows, but my 30s have experienced record breaking highs, LOL! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!!!
      XO

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  5. You look fab in this! I have learned to be happy with my body no matter what because my two little girls are always watching!

    http://www.mylittlenest.org

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    1. I love your sentiments in relation to your daughters Ruth- thank you for sharing!! I once was a little girl who was watching/listening (although it was many decades ago, LOL!). I wish that I had been better equipped to accept "me" and everything that encompasses being "me" from a young girl onward.

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  6. Yessss Yesss & Yes. I love this post and this outfit you are stylin' & profilin' legs for dayz and extra dayz. . .

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  7. Perfect pattern mixing! This look is fab!

    Annessa
    www.seekingsunshine.com

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  8. Amen...it shouldn't depend on our size, or any of our characteristics---we need to learn to love what we have!
    jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com
    you look magnificent!!

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  9. I feel like you are channeling Beyoncé-fierceness in these photos! I love the mix of patterns and textures, and the overall look is just plain fun! And I hear you on negative self-talk. You're exactly right that it's so uncomfortable (and insulting) when people complain about the features they hate about themselves when you share those same features. It's a different challenge when these friends see you as beautiful but see these same features in themselves as flaws. It's tough, but yes, it's a choice.

    <3 Liz
    www.withwonderandwhimsy.com

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    1. Several women commented similarly Liz (about Bey)!! I wasn't aware that I was, but it is good to know- LOL!!! It is mega uncomfortable and personally insulting when women insist on conversing abusively about their own bodies, especially in relation to size/weight. Sometimes it catches me off guard, because I am also surrounded by women who love their bodies, come what may. Also because self-love is a journey of ups and downs, and negative speech can trigger setbacks. XO

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  10. Ohh i love print clashing and you have really rocked it here sweet! You look so fierce and confident which really makes the outfit shine.

    Sammy | Bargainbaglady.com [Link-up now live!] XX

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  11. Thanks for linking up to Top of the World Style. Black and white looks great. Love the pattern mix.

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  12. U look fabulous too!! U look amazing in this outfit and your legs are very sexy btw. ;) x x x

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  13. you are fabulous, both for your style and your attitude. thanks for the eye opener and for adding your post to my Fine-Whatever link up.

    Rena
    www.finewhatverblog.com

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  14. You look fabulous! For sure it is a choice to love yourself for who you are and I'm happy that you do!

    Nina
    aworldofdresses.com

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  15. You look so hot! And those shoes are gorgeous! I love the mixing prints here! and the hat is just the perfect addition! Have a great week dear.

    Edwige | http://www/hypnozglam.com

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    1. You too Edwige- thank you very much!!!

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  16. You are truly beautiful. And that smile of yours is infectious. started smiling the moment I saw your face. Lovely post

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    1. Thank you very much for the beautiful compliment Juliet!
      XO

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