Sunday, October 18, 2015

Ambiguity

I once worked with a Manager who had a very ambiguous style of speaking. Each and every single time that we had a meeting, she would wow the room with colorful speech, inspirational ideals, all the while imparting a sense of personal worth to each person. Yet once the meeting was over, I walked away with a fuzzy understanding of exactly what objectives were on and or off the table! When recapping meeting outcomes with colleagues,no one was able to offer any clarity (For a minute I just thought it was me). I came to the realization: No conclusive answers were ever offered, despite direct questioning. Instead, new ideas were often introduced in a fanciful, non-practical way (IMO).
Whenever we were scheduled to meet one on one, I’d prepare a list of detailed questions, specific in nature. As in, choose one of the following: Yes or No. I rehearsed in my mind a game plan to keep the conversation on track, and how to ensure that clarification would be provided.
Yet, once I entered her office, the nostalgia began. Time and time again, each question was met with optimism and addressed ambiguously. I felt powerless to enforce a straight answer... 
When I look back, I can clearly see: We never had an insightful conversation!
To be sure, there are varying styles of speech. However, I would have to say that ambiguity is my least favorite. 
I have a direct style of speech by genetics; I like to ask straight forward questions and to receive straight forward answers. The coveted acquisition of T A C T is consistently a work in progress! Truly it makes no difference to me whether I like the answer or not (usually)- I solely desire a straight answer-preferably one that is also truthful.
In this current era of tolerance and permissiveness, I've observed that ambiguous speech seems to be a safer space than the room where one can state direct thoughts and or opinions. Why? Well, the moment a person states a direct opinion, especially one in conflict with the majority- well social media/the media is in a frenzy about how wrong such said comment was… Which leads me to: Does that mean that it is no longer acceptable to have any real/sincere thoughts/beliefs anymore? Must every word be uttered with the idea of pleasing the masses and not leaning in one direction or another?
Over to you, are you appreciative of ambiguous speech or do you prefer a straight arrow?

Until next time Style Lovers!
XO


Hat: DSW| Leopard vest: Vintage| Orange skirt: Vintage| Leopard sandals: Ivanka Trump (worn here)| Floral clutch: Vintage

15 comments:

  1. Beautiful, I love the colors. You look amazing

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  2. My mom taught 'it's not what you say, it's how you say it'. I have friends who can be very diplomatic is expressing themselves. They are not offensive, get their point across and are well liked. I also have friends, like the manager, whom I can talk to for hours and not have a clue who they really are or what they really said. My goal is to be tactfully direct.

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    1. Dead on Robin! My husband consistently reminds me that "the how" is the key!

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  3. I also dislike purposeful ambiguity, and have also worked with the opposite - those who are direct to the point of pain and if confronted hide behind the idea of "raw honesty". I've come to appreciate most those people who say what needs to be said, as nicely as possible under the circumstances, and pay attention to the audience they are delivering the words to.

    PS - your skirt is fantastic!

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    1. Agreed! Purposeless ambiguity= dislike! LOL! The polar opposite is an awful alternative - no one should use 'being blunt' as an excuse to verbally scar/injure others :( Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
      P.S. I have taken so long to blog this skirt, now I can't even remember which thrift shop I purchased it at! O_O

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  4. Gorgeous pictures! I love the colors in your outfit and your background! I prefer straight forward speakers!

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    1. Thank you Kasi! I appreciate straight forward talk, especially when those who can dish it- can take it too :)

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  5. Loved this outfit when I saw it on Instagram and Love it even more right here. You are AMAZING! I also had a biz owner who was just like that, especially when it came time to approve my vacation.

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    1. Thanks Beauty!!! LOL! That is hilarious Neti! I laughed out loud on that one!

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  6. I am straight shooter and I love people who are the same. Leopard print is everything and so I love the look. You also pick the most interesting backgrounds.

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    1. BTW, the look on your face in the 5th picture is priceless!!

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    2. Hey D- thank you!!! I take advantage of the varied art all around Los Angeles, truly there is something for every mood! LOL! Ooops, how did picture #5 make it to this post?! LOL!

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  7. Girl this post SCREAMS at me. No, literally this has been my struggle my entire life. I am so straight-forward I tend to intimidate people and at times I don't like that about myself but at other times I soooooo appreciate being direct and honest (which I am). Truthfully, I know the world (the media) is on this let's please everyone and soon I'll be out numbered (if not already) but IDGAF. I think I'll continue to be genuinely me.

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    1. It's like a love/hate relationship, right?!?! I totally get it!!! It's like you don't want to offend- but at the same time you want to make your point and move on...The world is heading in a direction that I am not interested in following- and being genuine IMO is truly the only option.
      Xx

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